All of us play them. But few of us are aware of half the games we play. Am I talking about golf, tennis or pool? Absolutely not! The games I refer to are those games which we play on ourselves and others all the time, without realising what we are doing. Some are highly positive but many are destructive and toxic. Some of the one which serve us no purpose are ones we might recognise, like:
I Hate Going to work on Monday Morning So I’ll Moan About it At Work Game
I’ll be a Smart Ass Just so I Can Show up my Boss Game
No Way am I Going To the Gym Today Game
In past newsletters, I identified the power that certain states ( mind-body-emotions ) can have on us: Anger ( May 2004 ), Redefining Failure ( April 2004 ) and Opportunities or Obstacles ( Mar 2004 ).
Even climbers play games.
A mountaineer, inching his way up a steep rock face might already be playing the This is Too Hard, I Will Fail Game. Instead of accessing deep rooted skills, fitness and techniques, the self-defeating frame being applied will already have a death-like effect on his ability to overcome each gymnastic problem on the rock face – leading to an early fall.
When we are playing a game, we are in a specific frame. If this frame is not empowering us or to a better good, we need to take the following steps to end or change these frames.
The first step this to identify the kind of triggers that kick-off a negative frame game. By identifying the game quickly and regularly, we can begin to use methods to stop or reduce its toxic effect on us. A mountaineer may need to access some powerful past ( or imagined ) mental resource to overcome a problem. This may not work 100% of the time, but allows a higher chance of succeeding. It isn’t rocket science to see how you can use this in your own context.
So if you are subconsciously playing the No Way am I Going To the Gym Today Game, identify when this get triggered off. By identifying the game, you’ve already caught the gremlins at work on your life, allowing you the 2nd step of applying new frames that are positive and work to your benefit
So for the next month or so, try identifying these negative games we play. We can then move on to stopping or changing the game we play. Until then, think about some of the evil games you play. Are you playing them for a positive outcome or is the game playing you instead?